Giveaway - Baby Dust

It seems I may have made the giveaway too hard!  I'm going to simplify so please disregard the previous posts instructions.  If you would like to enter the giveaway for "Baby Dust" by Deanna Roy please do the following:

comment below

That's all folks! 

October's Feature: Pregnancy Loss Info Website

When it actually sunk into my head that I had lost my son in April 2010 one of the first things I did was hit google.  I can't remember what exactly I typed in but I ended up finding this website, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  It was a God send.  I went through the whole site, each link, each story.  I visited it several times a day.  Through that site I found many others and was initiated into the world of bloggers. 

Deanna Roy founded http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ after the loss of her son Casey.  Since then she has been setting up an online supportive resource for other parents in grief.  The site is broken down into several categories.  There you can find links to resources on healing, grief, physical recovery, subsequent pregnancies and memorials. 

Deanna has just published her first novel on the subject of baby loss.  It is called "Baby Dust" and features five unique fictional stories.  You can read Holly's review of the book here.  Please check back for part two of the DBC review on "Baby Dust" to be posted October 15th.

Deanna has graciously offered a copy of the book to us to use for a giveaway.  If you are a blogger and are interested in winning the book here is what we need from you:

Write a post on your blog about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  Comment here with the link to your post.

If you are not a blogger, send us an email about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  Comment here once the email has been sent.  Send email to lilyorange2@yahoo.ca

Deadline is October 14th.  Winner will be drawn at random. We may publish your post or part of your post here on the DBC. 

September's Feature: Mikayla's Grace

Baby girl Mikayla Grace lived a brief 36 hours on this earth. From that short and beautiful life Mikayla's Grace was inspired.

From their website:

Mikayla's Grace Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit to support families with a baby in the NICU and those who experience the death of an infant at Madison Area hospitals by providing NICU care packages and angel memory boxes that offer both practical and emotional support for the parents. Our first donation was to St. Mary's Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin where our daughter Mikayla was born. In memory of Mikayla's first Heavenly birthday on June 24, 2011 we donated 12 Angel memory boxes, 20 NICU care packages, 66 books, and 28 gowns with matching booties and hats. We are currently working on our goal to donate another 20 angel memory boxes and 20 NICU care packages in October 2011.

Mikayla's Grace just completed it's first Facebook auction. The auction raised funds for the first ever Forever in our Hearts Remembrance Day on October 15th. It was a great success. Proceeds from the event will go towards making Mikayla Grace's NICU and Angel Memory Care Boxes. Some of the items included in these care packages are: disposable cameras, journals, teddy bears, candles, sympathy card and much more. Most of us know how much these items can mean to us in our time of great need. Many of us go to the hospital completely unprepared, not even knowing we are about to lose our child. When I lost Blaine I had no idea what to do. I wish these resources had of been offered to me.

Please take a moment to check out Mikayla's Grace website and Facebook page. Questions: what were key items you wish you had of had at the hospital? What were you thankful to have? Have you made any donations of care packages and if so what did you include?

July's Feature: Carrying to Term after a Poor or Fatal Prognosis

Ten weeks before Faith Hope was born, her mommy, Myah, starting blogging. At her 19-week ultrasound, Myah learned that Faith had anencephaly, a fatal neural tube defect. Despite being told that her baby was unlikely to ever gain consciousness, that her child would not live for more than a few minutes after birth, Myah chose to carry Faith to term.

On her blog, We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight, Myah describes her posts and her reasons for sharing Faith and their story with the world: "The posts here are very personal, emotional, brutally honest, and at times ungraceful. It's not easy for me to share so much of our life with the world. But it is my hope that by sharing our story, God will be glorified for all He has done for us. I also hope that this blog will reach other moms out there who are facing the same prenatal diagnosis that I did."

The first posts are about about Myah's pregnancy: her struggles with preparing for childbirth and for Faith's care, the grief of knowing her baby will not live, the joy she found in feeling her baby hiccup and kick.

After Faith was born crying and very much alive, Myah was able to bring her daughter home. Through the posts, videos, and photos, we get a glimpse into Faith's precious 93 days on earth: eating, smiles, jaundice, squealing, sneezes, ticklish feet. Then, on May 23, 2009, Faith passed away as Myah held her in her arms.

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Have you faced a fatal diagnosis? Did you choose termination, induction, or carrying to term? Why? How do you feel about the decision you made?

My first baby died from amniotic band sequence. At the NT scan I had at 13 weeks, the ultrasound tech found amniotic bands; that's when we found out about the possibility of limb amputation and were offered the option to terminate. The results of the screening also showed a positive marker for Down's Syndrome. We chose to keep our baby and continue with the pregnancy, preparing for a special needs child, but hoping for the best. Unfortunately, we lost our son at 18 weeks, and after we found out he died, I was induced. The decision

Also, if you or someone you know has a blog about the experiences of carrying to term after a poor prognosis/fatal diagnosis and would like to share, please include the links below. We are working on putting together a new directory to help families going through a similar experience.

June's Feature: A New Blog

AJ has just recently started her blog, "Rainbow Making 101." She and her husband started TTC in March of 2010 and were pregnant by July. Unfortunately they lost their first child in August of 2010. Rainbow Making 101 is a story of their new journey to conceive their Rainbow Baby.

This is one definition of a Rainbow Baby, not sure who authored this, I found it on Babycenter.

Rainbow babies: In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.


AJ's blog gives a very detailed account of their struggle to conceive since the loss of their child. She shares her TTC Timeline on the right side of the blog and through her posts gives a very personal account of the ups and downs of testing, the dreaded 2WW, the emotional rollercoaster that is TTC and my favourite post of hers, "Rainbow Making A - Z."

Most of us know what a tumultous time TTC can be so please head over to AJ's blog and lend her some support.

If you are in the process of TTC and would like to share please leave a comment with your story or link to your blog.

May's Feature - Unable to Conceive after Loss

Jan and her husband have lost three babies. They lost their first—a birth control surprise—at 9 1/2 weeks, on July 2, 2008. After being diagnosed with PCOS, Jan tried Clomid and found out she was pregnant again in August 2009. At 10 1/2 weeks, she learned that she was carrying twins, but had lost one of them. They hoped to bring the other baby home, but a few weeks later, the same ultrasound that showed they were having a girl also told them that she only had a 1% chance of survival because she didn't have any amniotic fluid left. On November 19, they learned that Carly Noel's heart had stopped beating.

In February 2010, just a few months after losing Carly, Jan developed a blood clot that spanned the length of her left leg. She had to be hospitalized and receive transfusions to treat and break it down. Because of her health, she cannot conceive again. She also cannot use surrogacy to have a biological child, because of the risks of blood clots and ovarian rupture.

On her blog, Angels in Heaven, Jan writes messages to her daughter, shares her feelings on not being able to have any more children of her own, and explores the challenges of not being a "real mommy" in others' eyes. Please stop by Jan's blog to read more of her story and give her some encouragement.

Also, if you have experience with being unable to conceive after losing your baby, or if you have any stories, websites, or blogs that relate—whether the inability to conceive it is due to health reasons, infertility, tubal ligation, or other reasons—please share them with us.

Help Needed

Okay, I never got around to doing the Featured Blog. To be honest I am at a creative dead end. I have even been neglecting my own blog. With all of my one year anniversaries with Blaine coming up and with being pregnant during those one year anniversaries I just really don't have much strength for writing. I hate not to post things because I know how many people read this regularly. So, I have to ask for some help. If anyone would like to help with that Feature please let me know. Even if we could switch off months. I'm kind of out of ideas and no one has suggested any so maybe having a second person would help stir it up.

Updates

I've been quite busy lately, haven't had time to come over here much. I'm going to start the Monthly Blog Feature back up again on March 1st. If anyone has suggestions please let me know. Amanda has made a really neat button so if you're blog is featured please feel free to put the button on your blog.

December's Feature - Subsequent Pregnancy

Sorry, this is late. My daughter and I have had the stomach flu. :( I also didn't get any submissions for this month so I'm just going to write a bit about my own experience, ask some questions and list some blogs that I follow where the BLM is having a subsequent pregnancy.

I found out that I was pregnant with my Pheonix baby on September 17th. The day before my son's due date. It was a blessing because I knew his due date would be rough on me. All of the expectations of having him here with us. We are obviously thrilled but considerable nervous. I stay pretty calm and collected most days but some days I am a wreck of worry and anxiety. Luckily I am getting more medical attention this time around so I have more chances to relieve my fears. I just posted today on my blog about how I am treating this pregnancy differently than my other two (I have a living daughter who is 5). If you are expecting congratulations! How are you treating this pregnancy different than the last? Are you attending a subsequent pregnancy support group? Did you delay telling people this time around? Are you finding a lot of support online for subsequent pregnancy? Have you already had your baby and are a success story? Please share any links to your blog that you'd like to share regarding your Rainbow. Here are some links to BLM's I follow who are pregnant after loss.

My World

A Rainbow and A Butterfly

Dot's Diner

November's Featured Blog: TTC After Loss

I think it is a natural inclination after the loss of a baby to try and try again. It's seems almost instinctual, the desire to procreate, especially after losing a child. Losing a child is after all unnatural. It goes against the very nature of our beings. There is no word for a bereaved parent except just that "bereaved." To share a bit of my personal story, my husband and I lost our son April 13th 2010. We started trying again at the end of May after my next period. It was desperate. I went online and calculated when I would ovulate. There was no romance involved. The conversation went something like this "okay dear I'm ovulating Tuesday to Thursday make sure you're home to make a deposit." That was our code word "deposit." I think most blogs I read from other BLM's involve a dash of TTC. No one seems to be immune from it. This month instead of choosing a blog I've chosen a website. The group at Grieve Out Loud have done a pretty extensive questionnaire and expose on TTC After Loss. Several BLM's filled out and submitted a very personal questionnaire ranging on everything from the emotional aspects of TTC to what sex is like to medical complications to TTC'ing. Part one is posted on the website now with more parts to follow in the future weeks. It is a great read for anyone who is on any part of the TTC journey, from thinking about it, to actively trying to enjoying your subsequent pregnancy.
Grieve Out Loud also has an extensive list of resources and a penpal program so if you have not already checked them out you may want to head over.
Please share in the comments any other sites or blogs you have found resourceful on the TTC topic.

December's Featured Blog Topic will be Subsequent Pregnancy or Rainbow Babies or Pheonix Babies, whatever you choose to call it. Please see the page on the top left corner if you would like to submit a blog to be featured...and please do!! I've had some suggestions but I know there are more readers then suggestions (based on convienient Blogger stats!) received and I'd really like to be choosing blogs that you all want to hear about.

October's Featured Blog: Multiple Loss

Jessica and her husband have lost two babies in a short period of just 7 months. They are well acquianted with the emotions and grief that accompany multiple loss. Riley grew wings on Febuary 11th 2010 at 6 weeks. Riley's EDD was September 27th 2010. Peyton grew wings on August 19th 2010 at 10 weeks. Peyton's EDD was March 15th 2011. Even with such a great loss Jessica still manages to put on a beautiful smile and reach out to other women in the community. She has started her own personal blog, located here. And she has started a second blog called Heaven's Doves (doves being one of the many things that remind her of her babies), located here. Through her personal blog she is sharing her own recovery story as well as trying to reach out to other BLM's. The purpose of Heaven's Doves is to create photos of baby's names, something we all know brings a small comfort to us Mommas. Please head over and check out Jessica's blog and lend her some support. Please feel free to comment with any blogs or links you found regarding Multiple Loss, or with your own story.

Topic for November: TTC After Loss: please see "Featured Monthly Blog Submissions" page on the left hand corner of blog for rules and deadline.

September's Feature: Making Connections

Nicole and her husband Daniel lost their precious daughter Avery Nicole at 25 weeks on March 13th 2010. Avery Nicole was born sleeping due to MTHFR C677T and Factor II G20210A, both blood clotting disorders. Nicole began blogging in June as a way to cope with her loss and to channel her thoughts and feelings. Since starting her own blog, The Avery Diaries, http://myaverynicole.blogspot.com/, Nicole has discovered the huge and hugely supportive community of bereaved parents. A community quick to lend support or a shoulder to cry on. Wanting to do more to reach out to these other parents Nicole set up a new blog aptly titled "BLM Penpals." It is nothing fancy or expensive. Just a group of mostly mom's lending support and encouragement specifically on the days when we need it the most, i.e. due dates and special occasions. Imagine how it feels to walk to your mailbox and see a note or a card from another parent who happened to be thinking of you that week. I myself as a member also find it exciting to go out and look for little trinkets or cards that remind me of the women I spend so much time with online. Nicole has done an amazing job in honouring her daughters life and in reaching out to make connections with other parents. Please go over and check out her blog. Please feel free to leave any supportive comments here for Nicole and if you are interested you can find the information for the BLM Penpal program on Nicole's personal blog. Feel free to share with us any other links you've found helpful in making connections within the community.

October's Feature: Multiple Loss

Please submit nominations on the topic of multiple losses. What blog have you found to be the most helpful? If you are interested in submitting a blog please review the new page "Featured Monthly Blog Submittions" for rules and deadlines.