About this blog

The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.

What's New?

If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

September's Feature: Mikayla's Grace

Baby girl Mikayla Grace lived a brief 36 hours on this earth. From that short and beautiful life Mikayla's Grace was inspired.

From their website:

Mikayla's Grace Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit to support families with a baby in the NICU and those who experience the death of an infant at Madison Area hospitals by providing NICU care packages and angel memory boxes that offer both practical and emotional support for the parents. Our first donation was to St. Mary's Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin where our daughter Mikayla was born. In memory of Mikayla's first Heavenly birthday on June 24, 2011 we donated 12 Angel memory boxes, 20 NICU care packages, 66 books, and 28 gowns with matching booties and hats. We are currently working on our goal to donate another 20 angel memory boxes and 20 NICU care packages in October 2011.

Mikayla's Grace just completed it's first Facebook auction. The auction raised funds for the first ever Forever in our Hearts Remembrance Day on October 15th. It was a great success. Proceeds from the event will go towards making Mikayla Grace's NICU and Angel Memory Care Boxes. Some of the items included in these care packages are: disposable cameras, journals, teddy bears, candles, sympathy card and much more. Most of us know how much these items can mean to us in our time of great need. Many of us go to the hospital completely unprepared, not even knowing we are about to lose our child. When I lost Blaine I had no idea what to do. I wish these resources had of been offered to me.

Please take a moment to check out Mikayla's Grace website and Facebook page. Questions: what were key items you wish you had of had at the hospital? What were you thankful to have? Have you made any donations of care packages and if so what did you include?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

"A child dies in this book: a baby. A baby is stillborn. You don't have to tell me how sad that is: it happened to me and my husband, our baby, a son."

I just finished reading An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination. It is incredibly sad and hopeful and heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. When the author, Elizabeth McCracken, talks about the emotions surrounding the loss of her son, I feel I could have written those words myself.
McCracken was 41 weeks pregnant with her first child when it went horribly wrong. The baby died, for unexplained reasons. She had to deliver the baby, still, and find some way to carry on. She talks candidly about the loss, her feelings for her son before and after birth, her relationship with her husband, the effect it had on them, their friends and family. We follow her through the journey of telling family and friends; of moving and packing up the baby items; of finding a new neutral home to live in; to navigating the brand new world of subsequent pregnancy.
McCracken was fortunate to deliver a rainbow baby, born almost exactly one year later. The rainbow baby comes with a whole new set of emotions and she writes

"Everyday as I love this baby in my lap, I think of my other baby. Poor older brother, poor missing one....The love for the first magnifies the love for the second, and vice versa."

I think the sentiments and experiences in this book can ring true for many of us. I found myself not only able to put myself in McCracken's shoes but also in the shoes of the "childish and unnerving" mother from the book signing who laughed wholeheartedly over a seagull stealing her husband's tuna sub and pressed McCracken to write a book about the lighter side of loss. I think that's another book I'd dive right into!