"A child dies in this book: a baby. A baby is stillborn. You don't have to tell me how sad that is: it happened to me and my husband, our baby, a son."
I just finished reading An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination. It is incredibly sad and hopeful and heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. When the author, Elizabeth McCracken, talks about the emotions surrounding the loss of her son, I feel I could have written those words myself.
McCracken was 41 weeks pregnant with her first child when it went horribly wrong. The baby died, for unexplained reasons. She had to deliver the baby, still, and find some way to carry on. She talks candidly about the loss, her feelings for her son before and after birth, her relationship with her husband, the effect it had on them, their friends and family. We follow her through the journey of telling family and friends; of moving and packing up the baby items; of finding a new neutral home to live in; to navigating the brand new world of subsequent pregnancy.
McCracken was fortunate to deliver a rainbow baby, born almost exactly one year later. The rainbow baby comes with a whole new set of emotions and she writes
"Everyday as I love this baby in my lap, I think of my other baby. Poor older brother, poor missing one....The love for the first magnifies the love for the second, and vice versa."
I think the sentiments and experiences in this book can ring true for many of us. I found myself not only able to put myself in McCracken's shoes but also in the shoes of the "childish and unnerving" mother from the book signing who laughed wholeheartedly over a seagull stealing her husband's tuna sub and pressed McCracken to write a book about the lighter side of loss. I think that's another book I'd dive right into!
About this blog
The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.
If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.