About this blog

The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.

What's New?

If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Question of the Week

Experts say that when you suffer through a trauma as awful as loosing a baby, that you shouldn't make any major life changes in the first year.  Having said that, did you make any major life changes in the first year after your baby died, and if so, do you think it was for the better or the worse?  How did it affect your grieving process?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Question of the Week

I would like to put together a list of things people can do for their friends or family members who have lost a baby.  What things were important to you that you would have liked others to have done when your baby(ies) died?  What did you wish they wouldn't have done?  Would you have preferred people have called or not?  Would you have liked people to ask about the details?  Would you have liked to have shared your pictures of your baby?  Nothing is off limits, so speak freely.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Question of the Week

When my son Logan died in January I wanted desperately to have a way for him to leave his mark on this earth, physically.  We didn't have a grave site for him as he was at U of M for many months undergoing his autopsy, and then later his ashes were sent home to us, where they currently remain.  My husband and I decided to plant a tree in Logan's honor at a local park.  There is also a plaque at the base of the tree.  I wanted people to see that there was a child here who had a name.  He was wanted, he is loved and he is missed.  The park is where I would have taken him to play, it seemed like an appropriate location.  The tree now serves as a symbol of our son and has become an integreal part of our memory of him.  You can see Loga's Weeping Willow and Plaque here.

The question is:

Did you do anything to memorialize your child physically?  Plant a tree, flower, garden?  Create a pond?  Buy a brick, a bench, a stone?
If so, we'd like to hear the story and get a link to a picture (if there is one available).

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Ways to Memorialize Your Baby

After my son Logan died I found that I was desperate to find ways for him to "leave his mark" on this earth, physically.  One of the things that I did was to plant a tree in is honor in a local park.  You can see that here.  I also had a name print done and had his name written in the sand by Carly (many parents print this photo off and hang it on their wall) and had a necklace made with his name and Angelversary on it by a fellow DBM.  There are so many ways in which we can memorialize our children.  Here are a few more:

Memory Blanket (from your childs clothes)
Have your childs portrait Sketched 
Angel Pics (free Photo Retouching for Stillborn Babies)

Some folks like to plant gardens or a specific plant, make stepping stones, create a water pond or have an area put aside especially for the belongings of their angel baby.  Many local places allow you to purchase bricks or plaques in memory or your child(ren), places like your local library, school, activity center, church or park.  Here are a few other nice ideas.  If you did something, bought something, or heard about something that you think would be beneficial for another grieving family, please do share.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Baby Urns (Website List)

I have to admit that I was shocked when my son's ashes showed up in a plastic bowl in the mail. For some reason I assumed he'd arrive in a little urn. So, though I do not endorse any of these websites, here is a short list of websites that sell Infant Urns for our little angels, to help get you started. Check with a local Funeral Home and see if they can transition the ashes for you, if you'd like.

Updates Galore

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have added updates to everything that had a submission, and there were a lot!  The calendar, the name list, several directories...etc.

I have to apologize for my absence.  When I started this resource blog I was in an easier place, emotionally.  Lately though I have had a rough time being reminded that babies are still dying, everyday.  This blog has reinforced that knowledge for me, and sometimes it is hard to be a part of it.  Forgive me during the times where I need to step away and try and forget this pain.  In the mean time though, know that all of the submissions can be found i nthe various comments sections and that eventually they will be added to the formal locations.  Thank you all for your understanding.  I wish you all moments of peace.  Keep breathing.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Remembering Peyton, George & Emily this month

I wanted to post that October is an especially hard time for Peyton, George & Emily's family.  Today is Peyton's Angelversary, Geroge's Angelversary is later this month and later this month was Emily's due date.  Please keep these families in your thoughts.  If you would like to contact them, or read their stories, click on their names in the calendar at the bottom of the home page for their info.

Lighting a candle for Peyton, George and Emily all month long.

This image was stolen from Raffledoocious on Flicker and I give this person all credit.

Question of the Week

I've slowed down on the question of the week because frankly I've run out of intelligent questions to ask.  So please, if you have any questions you'd like answered, feel free to let me know and I will post it.

This time the question is this:

My son Logan died at the end of January on a sunny bright and bitterly cold day.  I often find myself fearing the coming winter.  Will it throw me deeper into depression?  Will all bitter cold sunny days just remind me of his death even more?  Perhaps its the one year mark looming on the horizon.  Whatever it is, I find that I am leery of this coming winter.  Just another reminder.  So, I am wondering, do any of you feel the same way?  If your child died in the summer, do you find that summer time is often hard for you to go through?  Winter, fall or spring?  If so, and you've been through a few...when did you start to realize that the time of year was less and less of a significance?

If you choose to answer this question on your own blog, don't forget to leave us a link so that we can see your answer. :)