About this blog

The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.

What's New?

If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

New Directory: Blogs on TTC and Infertility After Loss

This is a blog directory of Mom's who are currently trying to conceive or struggling with infertility after a previous baby loss. Often times conceiving a child after the loss of another can be especially difficult, not just physically but there is an emotional toll on the families as well.






If you would like to submit a blog written by a dead baby momma simply add it in the comment section. Also, if there is a misprint, please accept my apologies and inform me ASAP!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

PAIL Events

I would like to create an Event page for Pregnancy and Infant Loss events in any area. If you have an event in your area such as a Butterfly Release or Candle Lighting please email me or comment on this post. I will add it to the Event Page. As much information as you can provide is appreciated, a link to the website, address, time, date, activity, etc. Don't worry about where you live or if you feel it's "too local," as readers come here from all over the place.


Question: How was your Mother's Day?

Mother's Day is one of the more difficult holidays for many baby loss mommies because it brings with it doubt, especially for women who have lost their only children (Am I still a mother?), and because it makes the void in one's heart and in one's lineup of living children all the more apparent.

Now that this bittersweet holiday has come and gone, can you share how it was for you?
  • If this was your first Mother's Day after a loss, did it turn out as you expected?
  • If this isn't your first, has it changed for you? Has it gotten any better?
  • Did you do or receive anything that made this day special for you?
  • Were you able to honor your baby/babies?
  • Was there anything you wish someone had done for you?

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there. Whether you have a child in your arms or not you are still a Mother and I hope you take time to care for yourself and do something special FOR YOU tomorrow.

A Mother's Day Ode by Susan Mosquera

I am your mother, but you, my child, I cannot hold.
It'll get easier with time, or so I'm told.
People may forget that I am your mother.
I'm part of a secret club we only share with one another.
But that doesn't diminish my love for you.
I think of you the whole day through.
I wonder what you're doing, my Precious Little One.
We are connected by an infinite bond, which cannot come undone.
I will not let death tear us apart.
I promise to always keep you alive in my heart.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

May's Feature - Unable to Conceive after Loss

Jan and her husband have lost three babies. They lost their first—a birth control surprise—at 9 1/2 weeks, on July 2, 2008. After being diagnosed with PCOS, Jan tried Clomid and found out she was pregnant again in August 2009. At 10 1/2 weeks, she learned that she was carrying twins, but had lost one of them. They hoped to bring the other baby home, but a few weeks later, the same ultrasound that showed they were having a girl also told them that she only had a 1% chance of survival because she didn't have any amniotic fluid left. On November 19, they learned that Carly Noel's heart had stopped beating.

In February 2010, just a few months after losing Carly, Jan developed a blood clot that spanned the length of her left leg. She had to be hospitalized and receive transfusions to treat and break it down. Because of her health, she cannot conceive again. She also cannot use surrogacy to have a biological child, because of the risks of blood clots and ovarian rupture.

On her blog, Angels in Heaven, Jan writes messages to her daughter, shares her feelings on not being able to have any more children of her own, and explores the challenges of not being a "real mommy" in others' eyes. Please stop by Jan's blog to read more of her story and give her some encouragement.

Also, if you have experience with being unable to conceive after losing your baby, or if you have any stories, websites, or blogs that relate—whether the inability to conceive it is due to health reasons, infertility, tubal ligation, or other reasons—please share them with us.