Jan and her husband have lost three babies. They lost their first—a birth control surprise—at 9 1/2 weeks, on July 2, 2008. After being diagnosed with PCOS, Jan tried Clomid and found out she was pregnant again in August 2009. At 10 1/2 weeks, she learned that she was carrying twins, but had lost one of them. They hoped to bring the other baby home, but a few weeks later, the same ultrasound that showed they were having a girl also told them that she only had a 1% chance of survival because she didn't have any amniotic fluid left. On November 19, they learned that Carly Noel's heart had stopped beating.
In February 2010, just a few months after losing Carly, Jan developed a blood clot that spanned the length of her left leg. She had to be hospitalized and receive transfusions to treat and break it down. Because of her health, she cannot conceive again. She also cannot use surrogacy to have a biological child, because of the risks of blood clots and ovarian rupture.
On her blog, Angels in Heaven, Jan writes messages to her daughter, shares her feelings on not being able to have any more children of her own, and explores the challenges of not being a "real mommy" in others' eyes. Please stop by Jan's blog to read more of her story and give her some encouragement.
Also, if you have experience with being unable to conceive after losing your baby, or if you have any stories, websites, or blogs that relate—whether the inability to conceive it is due to health reasons, infertility, tubal ligation, or other reasons—please share them with us.
About this blog
The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.
If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.