A resource blog for those who've suffered through any type of baby loss, and for those who want to try to "get it".
About this blog
The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.
What's New?
If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Question of the Week
Every Friday I will post a new question of the week. Leave your answers in the comment section below, or answer on your blog, but be sure to give us a link!
We hosted our daughters first birthday party. It was surreal, but we thought it important not to skip our living childs milestone birthday. So, we proceeded as planned with a house full of guests for the weekend. It was almost as if "it" didn't happen. Looking back now I know that we were in so much shock we functioned like robots. Maybe it was good to be distracted like that for the first few days.
The day after Lukas passed I was at my mom's house. Unable to go home that night, we had spent the night there. My mother cooked up a storm that day. I think she thought that food would comfort not knowing I really didn't feel like eating. My brothers and there family were there. A couple of friends came over. One even made a comment that they couldn't eat anymore. It was really non-stop cooking. I can not thank my mom enough for what she did even if it was comfort through food.
I left the hospital, called the funeral home to have Leila cremated, and sent out a mass email to friends and family telling them what happened, and warning them not to call. Oh, and I decided that tissues weren't going to cut it and moved on to crying and blowing my nose into a dishtowel.
I delivered my sweet baby boy 11 hours after I learned that he had passed away. I spent the next 6 or 7 hours (sad I can't remember how many now) crying, holding him, watching my family cry and hold him and then said goodbye, leaving the hospital empty handed 2 days after I had washed all of the baby clothes and a few days before I had planned to pack my hospital bag. My family, too, was at home cooking up a storm and couldn't understand why I didn't want to eat (not only was I not hungry but it was an extremely flavorful and unique ethnic dish, can't remember what the origin was, but if I WAS going to eat it'd need to be something dry and bland).
I had to have a c section to deliver Katy because I blacked out from hemorraging, so I spent the next day learning how to get out of the hospital bed and walk again without tearing my stomach apart. I lost so much blood that I was borderline transfusion, so they had someone with me a lot to make sure I wouldn't black out again. I looked at pictures of my daughter and my boys came to visit me, started to think about cremation and funeral homes. Just mostly numb I think...did't cry too much just sat in the hospital bed most of the time.
The day after my son died, I was still stuck in the hospital on the Labor and Delivery floor, recovering from the c-section. I asked to be pumped full of morphine for the physical pain, but also because I didn't want to be *there*- feeling that pain. My husband and I started talking funeral services, talking burial or creamtion and looked online for urns in between our hysterics and crying. I don't really remember much other than that, only because I think my mind wants to block all of those painful memories out.
6 comments:
We hosted our daughters first birthday party. It was surreal, but we thought it important not to skip our living childs milestone birthday. So, we proceeded as planned with a house full of guests for the weekend. It was almost as if "it" didn't happen. Looking back now I know that we were in so much shock we functioned like robots. Maybe it was good to be distracted like that for the first few days.
The day after Lukas passed I was at my mom's house. Unable to go home that night, we had spent the night there. My mother cooked up a storm that day. I think she thought that food would comfort not knowing I really didn't feel like eating. My brothers and there family were there. A couple of friends came over. One even made a comment that they couldn't eat anymore. It was really non-stop cooking. I can not thank my mom enough for what she did even if it was comfort through food.
I left the hospital, called the funeral home to have Leila cremated, and sent out a mass email to friends and family telling them what happened, and warning them not to call. Oh, and I decided that tissues weren't going to cut it and moved on to crying and blowing my nose into a dishtowel.
If that's TMI, remember, you asked! :)
I delivered my sweet baby boy 11 hours after I learned that he had passed away. I spent the next 6 or 7 hours (sad I can't remember how many now) crying, holding him, watching my family cry and hold him and then said goodbye, leaving the hospital empty handed 2 days after I had washed all of the baby clothes and a few days before I had planned to pack my hospital bag. My family, too, was at home cooking up a storm and couldn't understand why I didn't want to eat (not only was I not hungry but it was an extremely flavorful and unique ethnic dish, can't remember what the origin was, but if I WAS going to eat it'd need to be something dry and bland).
I had to have a c section to deliver Katy because I blacked out from hemorraging, so I spent the next day learning how to get out of the hospital bed and walk again without tearing my stomach apart. I lost so much blood that I was borderline transfusion, so they had someone with me a lot to make sure I wouldn't black out again. I looked at pictures of my daughter and my boys came to visit me, started to think about cremation and funeral homes. Just mostly numb I think...did't cry too much just sat in the hospital bed most of the time.
The day after my son died, I was still stuck in the hospital on the Labor and Delivery floor, recovering from the c-section. I asked to be pumped full of morphine for the physical pain, but also because I didn't want to be *there*- feeling that pain. My husband and I started talking funeral services, talking burial or creamtion and looked online for urns in between our hysterics and crying. I don't really remember much other than that, only because I think my mind wants to block all of those painful memories out.
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