Monday, October 17, 2011
October 15th Wave of Light
I was, unfortunately, unable to participate in the Int'l Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day on October 15th. How did all of you commemorate the day? A lot of my online BLM friends wrote on my FB wall or sent me pics of candles that were lit for Blaine or sent me a note or email letting me know they thought of him. Here is one...
Friday, October 14, 2011
Baby Dust by Deanna Roy - Review and Giveaway
Since you are all going to scroll down anyway I'll just announce the winner first! First to let you know how I picked. I found a website where you put names in a virtual hat and they assign the names. So, I put everyone's names in the hat, as well as my own, and it assigned the name to me. That's the person who won the giveaway. drum roll... Sarita Boyette! Please email me your address so I can snail mail you the book. lilyorange2@yahoo.ca
I was super eager to read this book. I remember when I lost my son Blaine going to the local library and trying to find anything I could. They had a total of four books on miscarriage or pregnancy loss. They were all either medical books or really old. None of them dealt with the emotions or changes I would go through as I lived through the loss of my child. "Baby Dust" is a fictional account of 5 woman and their loss. I say fictional because it is a novel however, it is a unique novel in that Deanna has taken real life stories and compiled them to make these characters. Whether fictional or not, so much of it rang true for me. I could see myself in each of the characters but the one I feel I related to the most was Melinda. The guilt she felt, the hallucinations, the attempts to "look normal," her hesitation to join the group of women and talk about her loss, I remember all of that.
I really enjoyed the book and as I said there was a little of each story that I could relate to and see myself and my son in. My only critisizm would be that each story ends with a sense of hope. The entire book is such a realistic representation of women and loss and yet I felt this was unrealistic. Yes, it's a novel and obviously a mother reading this, especially one who may be early in her grief, wants to believe that life will get better and easier. However, we all know that for some that isn't true. Life only gets harder and sometimes there is no hope. I would have liked to have seen one of the stories end in that way. That is just my opinion though. I would definitely recommend everyone read this book. It is also a great gift to give someone you may know who is dealing with a new loss or struggling to find resources.
I want to thank Deanna for allowing us to review the book and for graciously donating a copy of it for giveaway. I hope it is a huge success and am really hoping she does a follow up novel!
"Baby Dust" was dedicated by Deanna "For My (her) Angel Babies... Casey Shay December 1997 to April 1998 gestation, Daniel June 2001 to July 2001 gestation and Emma Hope August 2001 to October 2001 gestation."
I was super eager to read this book. I remember when I lost my son Blaine going to the local library and trying to find anything I could. They had a total of four books on miscarriage or pregnancy loss. They were all either medical books or really old. None of them dealt with the emotions or changes I would go through as I lived through the loss of my child. "Baby Dust" is a fictional account of 5 woman and their loss. I say fictional because it is a novel however, it is a unique novel in that Deanna has taken real life stories and compiled them to make these characters. Whether fictional or not, so much of it rang true for me. I could see myself in each of the characters but the one I feel I related to the most was Melinda. The guilt she felt, the hallucinations, the attempts to "look normal," her hesitation to join the group of women and talk about her loss, I remember all of that.
I really enjoyed the book and as I said there was a little of each story that I could relate to and see myself and my son in. My only critisizm would be that each story ends with a sense of hope. The entire book is such a realistic representation of women and loss and yet I felt this was unrealistic. Yes, it's a novel and obviously a mother reading this, especially one who may be early in her grief, wants to believe that life will get better and easier. However, we all know that for some that isn't true. Life only gets harder and sometimes there is no hope. I would have liked to have seen one of the stories end in that way. That is just my opinion though. I would definitely recommend everyone read this book. It is also a great gift to give someone you may know who is dealing with a new loss or struggling to find resources.
I want to thank Deanna for allowing us to review the book and for graciously donating a copy of it for giveaway. I hope it is a huge success and am really hoping she does a follow up novel!
"Baby Dust" was dedicated by Deanna "For My (her) Angel Babies... Casey Shay December 1997 to April 1998 gestation, Daniel June 2001 to July 2001 gestation and Emma Hope August 2001 to October 2001 gestation."
Friday, October 7, 2011
Giveaway - Baby Dust
It seems I may have made the giveaway too hard! I'm going to simplify so please disregard the previous posts instructions. If you would like to enter the giveaway for "Baby Dust" by Deanna Roy please do the following:
comment below
That's all folks!
comment below
That's all folks!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
October's Feature: Pregnancy Loss Info Website
When it actually sunk into my head that I had lost my son in April 2010 one of the first things I did was hit google. I can't remember what exactly I typed in but I ended up finding this website, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/. It was a God send. I went through the whole site, each link, each story. I visited it several times a day. Through that site I found many others and was initiated into the world of bloggers.
Deanna Roy founded http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ after the loss of her son Casey. Since then she has been setting up an online supportive resource for other parents in grief. The site is broken down into several categories. There you can find links to resources on healing, grief, physical recovery, subsequent pregnancies and memorials.
Deanna has just published her first novel on the subject of baby loss. It is called "Baby Dust" and features five unique fictional stories. You can read Holly's review of the book here. Please check back for part two of the DBC review on "Baby Dust" to be posted October 15th.
Deanna has graciously offered a copy of the book to us to use for a giveaway. If you are a blogger and are interested in winning the book here is what we need from you:
Write a post on your blog about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/. Comment here with the link to your post.
If you are not a blogger, send us an email about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/. Comment here once the email has been sent. Send email to lilyorange2@yahoo.ca
Deadline is October 14th. Winner will be drawn at random. We may publish your post or part of your post here on the DBC.
Deanna Roy founded http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ after the loss of her son Casey. Since then she has been setting up an online supportive resource for other parents in grief. The site is broken down into several categories. There you can find links to resources on healing, grief, physical recovery, subsequent pregnancies and memorials.
Deanna has just published her first novel on the subject of baby loss. It is called "Baby Dust" and features five unique fictional stories. You can read Holly's review of the book here. Please check back for part two of the DBC review on "Baby Dust" to be posted October 15th.
Deanna has graciously offered a copy of the book to us to use for a giveaway. If you are a blogger and are interested in winning the book here is what we need from you:
Write a post on your blog about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/. Comment here with the link to your post.
If you are not a blogger, send us an email about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/. Comment here once the email has been sent. Send email to lilyorange2@yahoo.ca
Deadline is October 14th. Winner will be drawn at random. We may publish your post or part of your post here on the DBC.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Baby Dust - Book Review Part One
The following review is thanks to our guest blogger, Holly from Caring for Carleigh.
The book Baby Dust by Deanna Roy is a fictional book based on the stories of real women who have lost babies. The book revolves around the stories of 5 women who have suffered the loss of their babies at varying gestations. We are able to see how their losses have affected every aspect of their lives-something you don’t normally see in a book.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is as follows: ”What horror to face, to choose the moment of your child’s death, to see the machines whir to a stop, the monitors to beep, the line of the heartbeat to go flat. No one really recovers from that.”
This book is different than anything I have ever read before about the loss of a baby. Most books are about coping with loss but with this book you see grief how it is. Grief isn’t painted as a pretty picture in this book but as something that is real and that affects far more women than people realize or care to acknowledge. The situations are real and relatable for babyloss moms. I highly recommend Baby Dust for anyone to read, whether their baby has died or not. I think this would actually be a very good book for people who have not lost to read as I think it would give them a glimpse into life after losing a baby.
The book Baby Dust by Deanna Roy is a fictional book based on the stories of real women who have lost babies. The book revolves around the stories of 5 women who have suffered the loss of their babies at varying gestations. We are able to see how their losses have affected every aspect of their lives-something you don’t normally see in a book.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is as follows: ”What horror to face, to choose the moment of your child’s death, to see the machines whir to a stop, the monitors to beep, the line of the heartbeat to go flat. No one really recovers from that.”
This book is different than anything I have ever read before about the loss of a baby. Most books are about coping with loss but with this book you see grief how it is. Grief isn’t painted as a pretty picture in this book but as something that is real and that affects far more women than people realize or care to acknowledge. The situations are real and relatable for babyloss moms. I highly recommend Baby Dust for anyone to read, whether their baby has died or not. I think this would actually be a very good book for people who have not lost to read as I think it would give them a glimpse into life after losing a baby.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Int'l Babylost Father's Day
for all you Daddies <3
Oh Father, My Father
Close your eyes and feel me near
keep me inside your heart
let me live in your soul
you see through tears
the things we will never do
running across the fields of my youth
games never played
but it is not gone
those dreams you hold so close
for I live on in every child you see
little ones standing a lone... lost
or laughing in a playground
swinging so high
touching the tree tops
that is I
wanting just to love
feel my happiness in the song of a bird
see my sorrow in mother
hold her close forever
feeling your strength
for there will be one to come behind me
whether through God's grace or
from a different calling
a child chosen through His hand.
For in darkness, a light will appear
even if it is just the dawn
signaling a new beginning
and as you gather my mother to your heart
release your tears
let the healing begin
and discover that I am here
in your dreams
in your tomorrows
Every rainbow is the path home
and if you should stumble
I am the wings that shall lift you
Love, your child
Author: Theresa Cochrane
Copyrighted by: Growing Family, Inc.
Oh Father, My Father
Close your eyes and feel me near
keep me inside your heart
let me live in your soul
you see through tears
the things we will never do
running across the fields of my youth
games never played
but it is not gone
those dreams you hold so close
for I live on in every child you see
little ones standing a lone... lost
or laughing in a playground
swinging so high
touching the tree tops
that is I
wanting just to love
feel my happiness in the song of a bird
see my sorrow in mother
hold her close forever
feeling your strength
for there will be one to come behind me
whether through God's grace or
from a different calling
a child chosen through His hand.
For in darkness, a light will appear
even if it is just the dawn
signaling a new beginning
and as you gather my mother to your heart
release your tears
let the healing begin
and discover that I am here
in your dreams
in your tomorrows
Every rainbow is the path home
and if you should stumble
I am the wings that shall lift you
Love, your child
Author: Theresa Cochrane
Copyrighted by: Growing Family, Inc.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Baby and Infant Urns
According to Blogger Stats, one of the main reasons people find this blog is because they are searching for baby or infant urns. Incredibly sad. I always say, I hate that you have to be here but I'm glad you are. I decided to do a post on different sites that offer cremain products and some creative ones that I've found. Please feel free in the comment section to add your own choices. Here is a link to our original post on baby urns.
Choosing a cremation product for your child is one of the hardest and most important things you will ever do as a bereaved parent. For most of us it will be the final resting place for our children's ashes. There are so many things to think of. You want something that will reflect your personality, your family and what the child meant to you. Maybe you want to include something that reminds you of your child such as butterflies or rainbows or a cartoon character. Most manufacturers of cremain products understand this and so have huge varieties to offer. You also want to look at how well the product will stand up over time. The quality of the product. Do you want something to bury or keep at home? For me personally I could not stand the thought of being away from my son's ashes. When I first brought him home I slept with the box. I had the idea to just carry them around in my purse but that didn't seem right. I decided on a pendant urn. A pendant urn is a necklace. You fill it with the cremains and then seal it and you wear it. Here is a photo of the one I purchased...
It was purchased from a website, "In the Light Urns."
For some, unfortunately, price is an issue. It was for me. I had to find something I loved for under $200. Almost all manufacturers offer many inexpensive choices. If price is not an issue you can purchase customized urns as well, in almost any imaginable design or material.
Here are some sites I have come across, some may be duplicated from our original post...
http://www.tootallspottery.com/Products/Urns/Urns1.html
http://www.inthelighturns.com/
http://www.urns.net/Infant-Urns-information.php
http://www.everlifememorials.com/v/urns/infant-urns.htm
http://www.evrmemories.com/infant-cremation-urns-s/316.htm
Choosing a cremation product for your child is one of the hardest and most important things you will ever do as a bereaved parent. For most of us it will be the final resting place for our children's ashes. There are so many things to think of. You want something that will reflect your personality, your family and what the child meant to you. Maybe you want to include something that reminds you of your child such as butterflies or rainbows or a cartoon character. Most manufacturers of cremain products understand this and so have huge varieties to offer. You also want to look at how well the product will stand up over time. The quality of the product. Do you want something to bury or keep at home? For me personally I could not stand the thought of being away from my son's ashes. When I first brought him home I slept with the box. I had the idea to just carry them around in my purse but that didn't seem right. I decided on a pendant urn. A pendant urn is a necklace. You fill it with the cremains and then seal it and you wear it. Here is a photo of the one I purchased...
For some, unfortunately, price is an issue. It was for me. I had to find something I loved for under $200. Almost all manufacturers offer many inexpensive choices. If price is not an issue you can purchase customized urns as well, in almost any imaginable design or material.
Here are some sites I have come across, some may be duplicated from our original post...
http://www.tootallspottery.com/Products/Urns/Urns1.html
http://www.inthelighturns.com/
http://www.urns.net/Infant-Urns-information.php
http://www.everlifememorials.com/v/urns/infant-urns.htm
http://www.evrmemories.com/infant-cremation-urns-s/316.htm
Monday, September 19, 2011
Question: Mementos
What is your favourite keepsake? Who gave it to you? Why is it so memorable?
What is the one item, other than your child obviously, that you wish you had kept or received?
What is the one item, other than your child obviously, that you wish you had kept or received?
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
September's Feature: Mikayla's Grace
Baby girl Mikayla Grace lived a brief 36 hours on this earth. From that short and beautiful life Mikayla's Grace was inspired.
From their website:
Mikayla's Grace Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit to support families with a baby in the NICU and those who experience the death of an infant at Madison Area hospitals by providing NICU care packages and angel memory boxes that offer both practical and emotional support for the parents. Our first donation was to St. Mary's Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin where our daughter Mikayla was born. In memory of Mikayla's first Heavenly birthday on June 24, 2011 we donated 12 Angel memory boxes, 20 NICU care packages, 66 books, and 28 gowns with matching booties and hats. We are currently working on our goal to donate another 20 angel memory boxes and 20 NICU care packages in October 2011.
Mikayla's Grace just completed it's first Facebook auction. The auction raised funds for the first ever Forever in our Hearts Remembrance Day on October 15th. It was a great success. Proceeds from the event will go towards making Mikayla Grace's NICU and Angel Memory Care Boxes. Some of the items included in these care packages are: disposable cameras, journals, teddy bears, candles, sympathy card and much more. Most of us know how much these items can mean to us in our time of great need. Many of us go to the hospital completely unprepared, not even knowing we are about to lose our child. When I lost Blaine I had no idea what to do. I wish these resources had of been offered to me.
Please take a moment to check out Mikayla's Grace website and Facebook page. Questions: what were key items you wish you had of had at the hospital? What were you thankful to have? Have you made any donations of care packages and if so what did you include?
From their website:
Mikayla's Grace Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit to support families with a baby in the NICU and those who experience the death of an infant at Madison Area hospitals by providing NICU care packages and angel memory boxes that offer both practical and emotional support for the parents. Our first donation was to St. Mary's Hospital in Madison, Wisconsin where our daughter Mikayla was born. In memory of Mikayla's first Heavenly birthday on June 24, 2011 we donated 12 Angel memory boxes, 20 NICU care packages, 66 books, and 28 gowns with matching booties and hats. We are currently working on our goal to donate another 20 angel memory boxes and 20 NICU care packages in October 2011.
Mikayla's Grace just completed it's first Facebook auction. The auction raised funds for the first ever Forever in our Hearts Remembrance Day on October 15th. It was a great success. Proceeds from the event will go towards making Mikayla Grace's NICU and Angel Memory Care Boxes. Some of the items included in these care packages are: disposable cameras, journals, teddy bears, candles, sympathy card and much more. Most of us know how much these items can mean to us in our time of great need. Many of us go to the hospital completely unprepared, not even knowing we are about to lose our child. When I lost Blaine I had no idea what to do. I wish these resources had of been offered to me.
Please take a moment to check out Mikayla's Grace website and Facebook page. Questions: what were key items you wish you had of had at the hospital? What were you thankful to have? Have you made any donations of care packages and if so what did you include?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination
"A child dies in this book: a baby. A baby is stillborn. You don't have to tell me how sad that is: it happened to me and my husband, our baby, a son."
I just finished reading An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination. It is incredibly sad and hopeful and heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. When the author, Elizabeth McCracken, talks about the emotions surrounding the loss of her son, I feel I could have written those words myself.
McCracken was 41 weeks pregnant with her first child when it went horribly wrong. The baby died, for unexplained reasons. She had to deliver the baby, still, and find some way to carry on. She talks candidly about the loss, her feelings for her son before and after birth, her relationship with her husband, the effect it had on them, their friends and family. We follow her through the journey of telling family and friends; of moving and packing up the baby items; of finding a new neutral home to live in; to navigating the brand new world of subsequent pregnancy.
McCracken was fortunate to deliver a rainbow baby, born almost exactly one year later. The rainbow baby comes with a whole new set of emotions and she writes
"Everyday as I love this baby in my lap, I think of my other baby. Poor older brother, poor missing one....The love for the first magnifies the love for the second, and vice versa."
I think the sentiments and experiences in this book can ring true for many of us. I found myself not only able to put myself in McCracken's shoes but also in the shoes of the "childish and unnerving" mother from the book signing who laughed wholeheartedly over a seagull stealing her husband's tuna sub and pressed McCracken to write a book about the lighter side of loss. I think that's another book I'd dive right into!
I just finished reading An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination. It is incredibly sad and hopeful and heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. When the author, Elizabeth McCracken, talks about the emotions surrounding the loss of her son, I feel I could have written those words myself.
McCracken was 41 weeks pregnant with her first child when it went horribly wrong. The baby died, for unexplained reasons. She had to deliver the baby, still, and find some way to carry on. She talks candidly about the loss, her feelings for her son before and after birth, her relationship with her husband, the effect it had on them, their friends and family. We follow her through the journey of telling family and friends; of moving and packing up the baby items; of finding a new neutral home to live in; to navigating the brand new world of subsequent pregnancy.
McCracken was fortunate to deliver a rainbow baby, born almost exactly one year later. The rainbow baby comes with a whole new set of emotions and she writes
"Everyday as I love this baby in my lap, I think of my other baby. Poor older brother, poor missing one....The love for the first magnifies the love for the second, and vice versa."
I think the sentiments and experiences in this book can ring true for many of us. I found myself not only able to put myself in McCracken's shoes but also in the shoes of the "childish and unnerving" mother from the book signing who laughed wholeheartedly over a seagull stealing her husband's tuna sub and pressed McCracken to write a book about the lighter side of loss. I think that's another book I'd dive right into!
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