A resource blog for those who've suffered through any type of baby loss, and for those who want to try to "get it".
About this blog
The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.
What's New?
If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Question of the Week
Who has been your biggest support in your grief since the death of your child? Did this surprise you? In what way has this person been so supportive?
Other than the blog community (who honestly have been the biggest support system) my husband (because he gets it, and because he lets me talk whenever I need to, even late at night when he's tired and needs to sleep for work, and because I don't have to explain to him why I'm sad or having a bad day) and surprisingly my friend Amy. Amy is pregnant with her first baby and that doesn't seem to stop her from asking about me and worrying about me. She still wants to get together and we talk about Logan all of the time. And even though she doesn't "get it" she tries so hard to get it. And even if/when she doesn't she's a great fake. She just wasn't ever the person I thought I would turn to. My friend Carla from high school too. We were out of touch for almost ten years or more, and since Logan's death she has really reached out and been a great friend to me. She introduced me to the world of DB blogging. I'm eternally grateful to her for that.
Unfortunately, most of my friends and family haven't been so supportive. It's like they all want to pretend it didn't happen. However, there is someone I have known a long time, who (surprize!) has been the biggest support to me. We were friends about 15 years ago. Then she sort-of crossed me, and I tend to hold a grudge. So we grew apart but still saw each other often as our husbands have worked together for about 15 years. Her son died a few hours after his birth about 4 years ago. She has called more than once to see if I needed someone to talk to, which I desperately did. She has also told me it has helped her to talk to me, which I can appreciate. As his birthday approaches, I am looking for a special candle to send her, that she can light on that day, and October 15th, or whenever she wants, to thank her for everything.
Sorry. I know I am late but I still would like to answer.
The biggest support during this has been my husband's SIL. From miles away, she sends me reminders that they are there and that they think of Lukas too.
Also one of my friends has also been there for me. I just don't know what to tell her to do for me but she went with me to my first Share meeting and is ready to go to the next. I can't thank her enough.
And of course all the special people in blogland. I couldn't have made it this far without them.
4 comments:
Other than the blog community (who honestly have been the biggest support system) my husband (because he gets it, and because he lets me talk whenever I need to, even late at night when he's tired and needs to sleep for work, and because I don't have to explain to him why I'm sad or having a bad day) and surprisingly my friend Amy. Amy is pregnant with her first baby and that doesn't seem to stop her from asking about me and worrying about me. She still wants to get together and we talk about Logan all of the time. And even though she doesn't "get it" she tries so hard to get it. And even if/when she doesn't she's a great fake. She just wasn't ever the person I thought I would turn to. My friend Carla from high school too. We were out of touch for almost ten years or more, and since Logan's death she has really reached out and been a great friend to me. She introduced me to the world of DB blogging. I'm eternally grateful to her for that.
Ray. For knowing that he doesn't always need to do anything other than hold me when I'm crying.
This community for understanding, supporting and caring. For being able to step outside their own grief and give comfort to others.
Most other people have surprised me by being crap at understanding and crap at dealing with someone grieving.
xxx
Unfortunately, most of my friends and family haven't been so supportive. It's like they all want to pretend it didn't happen. However, there is someone I have known a long time, who (surprize!) has been the biggest support to me. We were friends about 15 years ago. Then she sort-of crossed me, and I tend to hold a grudge. So we grew apart but still saw each other often as our husbands have worked together for about 15 years. Her son died a few hours after his birth about 4 years ago. She has called more than once to see if I needed someone to talk to, which I desperately did. She has also told me it has helped her to talk to me, which I can appreciate. As his birthday approaches, I am looking for a special candle to send her, that she can light on that day, and October 15th, or whenever she wants, to thank her for everything.
Sorry. I know I am late but I still would like to answer.
The biggest support during this has been my husband's SIL. From miles away, she sends me reminders that they are there and that they think of Lukas too.
Also one of my friends has also been there for me. I just don't know what to tell her to do for me but she went with me to my first Share meeting and is ready to go to the next. I can't thank her enough.
And of course all the special people in blogland. I couldn't have made it this far without them.
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