Knowing that grief comes in stages and most of those stages get repeated several times in the grief cycle, and knowing that grief comes in lulls and waves, how long do you think it took you to get past the
really hard part?? When did you realize it had happened?
3 comments:
For me, the last hurrah was Leila's due date. That was the last day I felt emotionally not-in-control. Her angelversary's probably going to be a sad day, too, but I'm pretty sure I have a handle on grief now. Depression...well, that's another story entirely.
The hardest part for me in my whole journey was handing her over to the funeral director and walking away. It really broke me, but I did manage to pick myself back up. I've been able to ride the crests of the waves really well and have only sunk into one of the depressions once around 6 months.
I seemed to get hard hit in the beginning every few days, then every few weeks. I'm closing in on my year mark and I'm thinking that I felt like the worse part of the grief journey came to a close around 9 months. After that I started having more good days then bad, I got numb, I still have depression, but the weight isnt' so crushing anymore. I don't think I've gotten over or past anything...I just think I am getting good at living with it and through it. Months ago I didn't think that was possible. Months ago I was begging to know how long it would take. Logan's angelversary is Jan 24th. Its coming. Its looming light a freight train in the distance. Logan died on a bright sunny and bitter cold day This week is the first wave of real cold that we've had this season. Every day I feel it sneaking closer and closer. It scares me. And it scares me even more hoping and waiting for this time to end. For this year to be past.
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