How do you celebrate a day for mothers when your baby is not with you. Mothers day can be such a painful day for those who's children have died. It's yet another day that reminds us that our sweet son or daughter is not here.
We don't get a gift from daddy with a card saying the baby just had to buy it for us, or paper flowers made at school with such love and care, or even a bratty teenager mumbling insincere mothers day wishes as they dart out the door. For mothers day we watch all the "real" mothers around us get recognized and appreciated while we're left on the sidelines wanting to scream "BUT I'M A MOTHER TOO!!!!". Just because our babies cannot be seen does not mean that our motherhood is not real or should be overlooked.
We carried a life within our bodies, no matter how short that life was, our child was a part of us and will be forever. We don't get up every morning and look into our children's eyes, we get up every morning and deal with the fact that they are gone.
This mothers day, if you are a mother who holds their child in their heart instead of their arms, do something for yourself. Chose a flower that represents your child and wear it in your hair. Buy a piece of jewelry that you find special. Have a quiet day to yourself or a picnic with others to celebrate that you ARE a mother! And you deserve special recognition on this day.
6 comments:
Mothers whose children aren't here on this earth def DO deserve to be celebrated and made to feel special.
Something I did on my first Mother's Day, which was just a few months after losing Calvin, was go to the beach with my husband. I wrote "I am a Mother" in the sand.
On my first Mother's Day after Logan died, I bought myself a Willow Tree figure called "Remember...always I will remember." http://willowtree.info/product/remember in remembrance of my sweet boy, I had some for my living daughter, and I placed his right in there among the others. This is my first M Day since Rudy...I just keep thinking about that. Last year on May 1st, International Bereaved Mothers Day, my husband got me pregnant with Rudy, who turned out to be ectopic. I feel like I want to get something for that baby...but really, thinking about it makes me sad all over again.
I came here today because it is my first Mother's Day since loosing my baby, Rory to an ectopic pregnancy. I feel so alone today with no one recognizing how difficult this day has been for me. I know that there are others out there who understand and I am so grateful for this and every other blog.
Hi sorry to bother u all. I am called kieron. I will tell u a short story of what me and my gf are going thought. On the 13th march we found out that our first baby has developed her brain outside of her skull. We have no hope and are vurrently planning "daisy" that is what we have called her. Funeral. My question is my gf does not feel lile a mum because we will not have our little girl woth us on her first mothers day. I want to get her somthing special but am lost on what and need advice. I dont want to take her out as on mothers day will only be a couple of days after we sau good bye to our baby. Tha k u verry much. For ur help
I love the birthstone ring and earrings my husband bought me. I also think anything with Daisy's name on it would be nice. There are lots of people on etsy.com that make remembrance jewelry with custom names. You could even get your daughter's hand or footprints printed on to a piece. I would've loved to have been able to do that. Also, some women who have had children die like to observe the Sunday before as baby loss mother's day. But assure your gf that she is indeed a mother. Perhaps direct her here where she may find some comfort. I am sorry for your tragedy. It is very unfair and my heart breaks for the both of you.
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