Jan and her husband have lost three babies. They lost their first—a birth control surprise—at 9 1/2 weeks, on July 2, 2008. After being diagnosed with PCOS, Jan tried Clomid and found out she was pregnant again in August 2009. At 10 1/2 weeks, she learned that she was carrying twins, but had lost one of them. They hoped to bring the other baby home, but a few weeks later, the same ultrasound that showed they were having a girl also told them that she only had a 1% chance of survival because she didn't have any amniotic fluid left. On November 19, they learned that Carly Noel's heart had stopped beating.
In February 2010, just a few months after losing Carly, Jan developed a blood clot that spanned the length of her left leg. She had to be hospitalized and receive transfusions to treat and break it down. Because of her health, she cannot conceive again. She also cannot use surrogacy to have a biological child, because of the risks of blood clots and ovarian rupture.
On her blog, Angels in Heaven, Jan writes messages to her daughter, shares her feelings on not being able to have any more children of her own, and explores the challenges of not being a "real mommy" in others' eyes. Please stop by Jan's blog to read more of her story and give her some encouragement.
Also, if you have experience with being unable to conceive after losing your baby, or if you have any stories, websites, or blogs that relate—whether the inability to conceive it is due to health reasons, infertility, tubal ligation, or other reasons—please share them with us.
3 comments:
Crystal, this was a wonderful addition (perhaps we need a new category in the blog directory??). What a sad story, and to have it ended so permanently. I was so sorry to hear about Jan and the death of her children and her struggles to feel like a "real mommy". Thank you for featuring this blog.
Heather, thank you. I actually know a couple moms who fit this category. One is Holli, who had a uterine rupture at 19 weeks and was told she can't get pregnant again. Another is Kristin, who dealt with infertility for a long time before having her rainbow twins. Margaret had her tubes tied when she gave birth to her boy-girl twins, then she lost her son.
After I lost Rainbow, I was unable to get pregnant again for over a year and had stopped ovulating for a while. Then I had my third consecutive loss, and I am going through testing. I guess I'm in infertility limbo right now.
I just found this page. Wish there was more here. We lost our beautiful boy at 33 weeks. We have on older one, thank heaven. It's been 17 months and people keep asking if I'm pregnant (major diastasis) and telling me it will be so much better when I have another. Conception is not likely, low ovarian reserve. I know we all look for the happy ending, but sometimes another baby isn't it.
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