About this blog

The intent of this blog is to form an interactive community where parents of dead babies can come together and swap information, stories, tears, memories and encouragement. This is designed to be a neutral place. We are not religious nor are we anti-religious. Come as you are. You can sign the guest book, add your baby(ies) to the baby name memory list, review books on infant death, add warnings about movies and books that contain a dead baby, add your blog to our directory or a number of other things. Don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or would like to see something added to this blog. Rule One: be kind to each other. We're all in this together. We all suffer and miss our babies madly.

What's New?

If you are new to blogging and would like to be featured please let us know! Looking for parents who are new to this community and are looking for some peer support.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


I often get emails from moms looking to make personal connections with other moms who have been in the same situation.  I'd like to start up a penpal program so that I have appropriate people to refer these emails to (Dad's included!).  I am looking for people who fit in the following categories:

a relative or friend of someone who has lost a child but has not lost someone themselves
carrying to term
twin or other multiple loss where one or more survived
someone who has living children
medical termination

Also, I don't want to offend anyone but when I lost my son it was very important to me, as a Christian who does not go to church, to find another Christian to talk to.  While the DBC is not a religious source if you are religious please also let me know (if you're comfortable). 
If you would like to participate please understand that this is a commitment.  The worst thing is to email your penpal and feel like they're too busy for you.  Please email me if you are interested, especially if you are a man, we have one man so far but it would be nice to have some more.  lilyorange2@yahoo.ca

Monday, October 17, 2011

October 15th Wave of Light

I was, unfortunately, unable to participate in the Int'l Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day on October 15th.  How did all of you commemorate the day?  A lot of my online BLM friends wrote on my FB wall or sent me pics of candles that were lit for Blaine or sent me a note or email letting me know they thought of him.  Here is one...

Friday, October 14, 2011

Baby Dust by Deanna Roy - Review and Giveaway

Since you are all going to scroll down anyway I'll just announce the winner first!  First to let you know how I picked.  I found a website where you put names in a virtual hat and they assign the names.  So, I put everyone's names in the hat, as well as my own, and it assigned the name to me.  That's the person who won the giveaway.  drum roll...  Sarita Boyette!  Please email me your address so I can snail mail you the book.  lilyorange2@yahoo.ca

I was super eager to read this book.  I remember when I lost my son Blaine going to the local library and trying to find anything I could.  They had a total of four books on miscarriage or pregnancy loss.  They were all either medical books or really old.  None of them dealt with the emotions or changes I would go through as I lived through the loss of my child.  "Baby Dust" is a fictional account of 5 woman and their loss.  I say fictional because it is a novel however, it is a unique novel in that Deanna has taken real life stories and compiled them to make these characters.  Whether fictional or not, so much of it rang true for me.  I could see myself in each of the characters but the one I feel I related to the most was Melinda.  The guilt she felt, the hallucinations, the attempts to "look normal," her hesitation to join the group of women and talk about her loss, I remember all of that. 
I really enjoyed the book and as I said there was a little of each story that I could relate to and see myself and my son in.  My only critisizm would be that each story ends with a sense of hope.  The entire book is such a realistic representation of women and loss and yet I felt this was unrealistic.  Yes, it's a novel and obviously a mother reading this, especially one who may be early in her grief, wants to believe that life will get better and easier.  However, we all know that for some that isn't true.  Life only gets harder and sometimes there is no hope.  I would have liked to have seen one of the stories end in that way.  That is just my opinion though.  I would definitely recommend everyone read this book.  It is also a great gift to give someone you may know who is dealing with a new loss or struggling to find resources. 
I want to thank Deanna for allowing us to review the book and for graciously donating a copy of it for giveaway.  I hope it is a huge success and am really hoping she does a follow up novel! 

"Baby Dust" was dedicated by Deanna "For My (her) Angel Babies... Casey Shay December 1997 to April 1998 gestation, Daniel June 2001 to July 2001 gestation and Emma Hope August 2001 to October 2001 gestation."

Friday, October 7, 2011

Giveaway - Baby Dust

It seems I may have made the giveaway too hard!  I'm going to simplify so please disregard the previous posts instructions.  If you would like to enter the giveaway for "Baby Dust" by Deanna Roy please do the following:

comment below

That's all folks! 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

October's Feature: Pregnancy Loss Info Website

When it actually sunk into my head that I had lost my son in April 2010 one of the first things I did was hit google.  I can't remember what exactly I typed in but I ended up finding this website, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  It was a God send.  I went through the whole site, each link, each story.  I visited it several times a day.  Through that site I found many others and was initiated into the world of bloggers. 

Deanna Roy founded http://www.pregnancyloss.info/ after the loss of her son Casey.  Since then she has been setting up an online supportive resource for other parents in grief.  The site is broken down into several categories.  There you can find links to resources on healing, grief, physical recovery, subsequent pregnancies and memorials. 

Deanna has just published her first novel on the subject of baby loss.  It is called "Baby Dust" and features five unique fictional stories.  You can read Holly's review of the book here.  Please check back for part two of the DBC review on "Baby Dust" to be posted October 15th.

Deanna has graciously offered a copy of the book to us to use for a giveaway.  If you are a blogger and are interested in winning the book here is what we need from you:

Write a post on your blog about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  Comment here with the link to your post.

If you are not a blogger, send us an email about something you found helpful or enjoyed reading about on the site, http://www.pregnancyloss.info/.  Comment here once the email has been sent.  Send email to lilyorange2@yahoo.ca

Deadline is October 14th.  Winner will be drawn at random. We may publish your post or part of your post here on the DBC.